WOW! ONLY ONE HUNDRED MILLION POUNDS.

FOR A NEW KING AND A CORONATION

What a bargain.

Well, thank goodness the guest list was so dramatically reduced down to a megre 2,000 people to save money. 

Only his family, certain VIPs, a select group of former prime ministers and members of Parliament, world leaders, foreign monarchs, faith leaders, lots of hangers on (like servants) and a handful of specially selected commoners. 

Which means you probably won't be going.

But don't worry, you can have this wonderful souvenir of this great day. His portrait. Now marked down from the original FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. You save four thousand five hundred dollars.  It's yours - including packing, delivery, insurance (with tracking number) for only $500. Or, if you like, 450  €.